Sunday, July 27, 2014

Claim The World

My two sons are part of a band called Orca.  And their kind of music is metallic rock.  They also write and record their own music.  As much as I can, I watch their gigs and try to appreciate their songs.

Once I asked them if they had plans of graduating to other genres.  They simply said no and explained that metal was their “core”.  And that to do so would be “selling-out”.  It took a while for me to totally understand what they mean.

I remember when I was younger, I was very sure of my “core” too.  I knew who I was and was daring enough to show the whole world. I also knew what I wanted and was raring to get them.  Youth gives us a certain sense of confidence and superiority.  When you are young, you take everything with large doses of ambivalence.

But somehow, time has a way of taming us.  While I knew the person within me, I learned to conform to fit into the various groups I was with.  At that stage, it was important for me to be accepted.  Compromise crept into my life.  I don’t think it was “selling-out” at all.  But I understood fully well why I needed to do it.  It was a way of surviving adulthood. 

I did feel the toll of my decision to conform.  There were moments I felt unhappy not really knowing why.  But looking back, the restrictions I imposed on myself were the culprits.  It’s never easy to steer away from one’s true self, no matter how slightly.  It was like asking a willow branch to stay rigid when it is natural for it to sweep down to the ground.

Now that I am half a century and a year old, I somehow feel unafraid to be who I truly am.  While the years have tempered my soul, I know my spirit is free.  I am no longer bound to conform.  Growing old gives you permission to express yourself sans the guilt of going against the grain of society.  Maturity allows you not only to appreciate yourself but also those around you.  I have noticed how tolerant I have become of others too.  And surprisingly, the younger ones find it cool! 

So, it’s not too late to be bold and happy.  It’s not too late to do the things in your bucket list.  It’s not too late to proclaim your true self and worth.  Claim the world – it has always been yours!

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